Two Green Invaders
by Comickazi13
Summary: Zim is trying to take over Earth. Dib is trying to protect his Earth from destruction. What happens when both missions are jeopardized by a Mean Green Mutha from outer space? An Invader Zim/Little Shop of Horrors crossover...with a surprise ending.
1. Chapter 1

The small space pod covered the sun completely as the little plant readied itself for landing. A tiny grin was plastered across its face as it dreamed of the conquering to come. It was so excited to take after its great ancestors which had conquered the mightiest of war planets. Its leaves shuttered at the very thought of sucking the planet dry before taking root permanently, spreading its own nasty seed to other dirt clods in the sky.

…

"Why's it dark?!" Gir cried as the sun was dimmed by an unknown object. Zim shielded his eyes as he peered up at the sky, his mouth drawn into a condescending snarl. He had seen solar eclipses on Earth before. But there seemed to be an eerie green glow about the object obstructing the sun's rays.

"Hmm," he pondered to himself. "Strange. I've never seen such a phenomenon on this planet before. It can't just be the shadow of the Earth, can it?" This last sentence was directed to the little robot that was still spazing about the sudden darkness.

Gir immediately stopped screaming to reply, "I don't know." Then, he just sat there and looked confusedly up at the object covering the sunshine.

When the lights came back on, Zim looked at the small green thing sitting on the sidewalk. The bottom of it was covered up in a gauzy material that looked to be slick to the touch. A little pod-like growth sat atop its winding stem. The stem itself was dotted with a couple leaf buds here and there.

"Gir, analyze," Zim ordered. Gir's normally blue eyes turned red for a moment. The little robot saluted before looking over the little object.

"Ooh!" he exclaimed upon ending his inspection. "It's a plant!" Zim rolled his eyes before scooping the plant off the sidewalk.

The plant immediately drooped on contact with Zim's gloved hand. Zim puffed out his chest and snarled again.

"Worthless little Earth growth," he growled before throwing the plant into the street. He brushed his hands together, getting rid of the dust accumulated there before walking into the house, followed by Gir.

…

Dib walked along, wondering how he was going to ever get people to believe him about Zim being an alien. It seemed obvious enough. Zim had green skin after all…and no ears. Besides, Dib had heard the plans of invasion over his transmissions that fateful night. He grumbled incoherently as he kicked a pebble into the road, his hands deeply planted in his pockets.

As a car rushed by, it splashed mud up onto the sidewalk, both drenching Dib and washing up something small and green. For a second, Dib thought it was just a weed and was going to just continue walking. But then he got a closer look.

The small pod was trembling on the skinny stem. The gauze around the bottom of the stem was torn and frayed, allowing the dirt to spew out along with a couple of stray, white roots. It looked like a quite hopeless little thing.

Dib, always interested in the strange and unknown, picked up the plant. It wilted pitifully. Dib raised an eyebrow.

"Poor thing," he mumbled. He thought for a moment. "The least I could do is take it home and perk it back up before transplanting it back into the ground." Not wanting to crush the plant, Dib cradled it in his hands instead of pocketing it as he continued to walk down the avenue.


	2. Chapter 2

The small plant cuddled in its new pot of dirt. Despite how different it felt from the soil back home, it felt nice to shed the gauze from around its tiny, newborn roots. It stretched its leaves, making a small crackling noise. It would have to pretend to be sickly when the Earthling came back. Sooner or later, it would master the vessel's speech pattern and could directly ask for what it wanted. But in the meantime, it would just have to wilt every time its vessel was near.

…

Zim was beginning to worry. He had never worried about the filthy Earth Monkey Dib's behavior before. But this was just ridiculous! Dib had practically been ignoring him for the past couple of weeks. How dare he ignore the conqueror of his own filthy planet?!

"Gir!" Zim shouted. "Come here!" Gir suddenly crashed down from the ceiling and looked up at Zim, grinning stupidly.

"Yeeeeees?" he sang happily. Zim rubbed his temples with his fingertips before relaying his request.

"Find out what that horrible Earthling Dib has been doing lately." Zim left out that he was concerned. He didn't want Gir taking it the wrong way and telling his Tallests that he was developing feelings for the less superior race. "WELL?!?!" Zim yelled after a long silence.

Gir giggled and rocked back and forth on his feet. "I forgot what I was supposed to do." Zim smacked his forehead before turning to his computer.

"If you want something done right," he snarled, "you have to do it yourself." He clicked random buttons on his computer until he pulled up a screen that showed Dib nursing the small plant thing that Zim had thrown in the street to die. "A mere distraction," Zim huffed to himself. "He'll be back to his regular fiendish activities in no time."

…

"Aw, c'mon, little guy," Dib begged as the plant wilted over, its leaves browning so much that they were crisp and dry. "I've given you water and vitamins and fertilizer and Dad's special growth solution! What more do you want?" The plant gave no response.

Fed up with the stress of taking care of the tiny vegetation, Dib swung his back to it and was about to storm off. But when he took a couple steps forward, he spun back around, slamming his hand to the counter. Unfortunately, he didn't really see where his hand was landing and ended up slamming his hand on a kitchen knife. He let out a shrill cry as small drips of blood began to seep from the small wound on his palm.

"This is all _your_ fault!" he exclaimed, shoving his injured hand toward the plant's pod. Suddenly, something strange happened.

The pod opened to reveal what looked like a small, withering tongue and one tiny tooth, which was dulled into looking much like a white popcorn kernel. The tongue wiggled around and the plant made an "Ah" sound.

"Huh?" Dib said in confusion. He reached his wounded hand to the plant, and then quickly withdrew it when the pod snapped at the cut. Dib tried the same with his normal hand, but the plant just turned away snobbishly. Then, Dib understood. "Oh. _That's_ what you need," he gulped.


	3. Chapter 3

"_Finally!"_ the plant thought as it pursed its lips together. It sucked the little drops of blood from its vessel's palm delicately and innocently. It had the plan all worked out from here. The vessel would begin to get tired from loss of blood. Then, the time would come for it to speak. It would ask the vessel to feed it…feed it others. But it wouldn't be blunt about it. It would lure the vessel in with delusions of grandeur promised to be his. Oh it would work perfectly.

As the vessel left the room to bandage his aching hand, the little plant grinned again and grew about an inch.

…

Zim put on his disguise and walked to the school. He was beginning to get used to the fact that Dib was ignoring him. After all, it would only help his mission. The faster that interfering human was out of the way, the faster Zim could take over the Earth and report back to the Almighty Tallests.

As he walked into class, Zim plopped himself at his desk and his eyes naturally wandered over to Dib's desk. Something was very wrong.

Dib was resting his head on the desk so that his face wasn't showing. Zim wondered why Dib wasn't glaring at him like he normally did. He noticed that Dib's hand was wrapped up in bandages and the tips of his fingers were covered with band-aids. He looked paler than usual and when he raised his head to look at Zim suspiciously, his eyes were bloodshot and his skin was very chapped and dry.

"_What's up with him?_" Zim thought to himself.

Dib rested his head back on the desk and let out a much chopped up sigh. During class, he made no mention of Zim being an alien, which both excited and worried Zim at the same time. When class let out, Dib slowly dragged himself out of his seat and limped out the door.

"This is just ridiculous," Zim huffed. He ran to catch up with Dib, which wasn't that much of a feat. "Hello," he said stiffly.

Dib said nothing.

"Okay, disgusting Earthling," Zim pouted. "Why are you ignoring me?"

Dib said nothing.

"I'm not falling for any of your schemes!" Zim exclaimed. "You'll never get past my defenses! NEVER!" He thrust his finger into the air to emphasize his point before speed-walking away from the stone-silent Dib.

…

Dib took a longer time getting home for two reasons. One, because he wasn't looking forward to facing the plant and its thirst when he got there; and two, he had already given so much blood to the pod that he didn't have much to give him the energy to walk quickly. When he walked up to his front door, it had almost been a whole hour since he started out for home. The normal trip would have taken him approximately ten to fifteen minutes.

"I'm not looking forward to this," Dib grimaced as he swung his bedroom door open.

There, sitting on his computer desk, was the plant. It had grown substantially and now blocked the sun from peeking in Dib's window. Soon, he would have to move it to the floor so it wouldn't break his computer desk. It seemed to be smirking at him. But as soon as Dib set foot in the room, its leaves drooped and the pod smashed to the floor.

"Here we go again," Dib muttered. He knelt down beside the plant and started talking to it. "C'mon. I don't have that much blood left. What do you want me to do? Kill people?"

"Feed me," the plant whispered. Dib did a double take.

"Excuse me?" he asked in confusion.

"Feed me," the plant repeated. There was a long silence…

"Oh my God," Dib shouted, jumping up and down. "It's a talking plant! Screw alien invasions! I HAVE AN ACTUAL TALKING PLANT!"

"FEED ME, DIB! FEED ME NOW!" the plant interrupted loudly. Dib stopped for a moment, taken aback by the plant's harsh demand.

"I…I can't," he stammered.

"I'm STARVING!" the plant screamed. "FEED ME!"

"NO!" Dib shouted. "I don't have that much blood left. I'm already having dizzy spells all the time and I don't have energy anymore!"

"C'mon, Dib," the plant grinned. "It doesn't have to be _your_ blood."

"What?"

"There must be someone you can spare and get me some LUNCH!" the plant explained, yelling the last word. "Besides, if you do feed me, I can do great things for you in return." Dib raised an eyebrow.

"Like _what_?" he said darkly.

"Like bring you that Zim character right to your doorstep, undisguised," the plant replied coolly.

Dib froze in his tracks. The thought of having Zim revealed to the world as an alien…people wouldn't think he was crazy anymore. Dib would be respected and believed. This is what he was waiting for all his life…

"Do we have a deal?" the plant growled.


	4. Chapter 4

So brilliant! The plant was well on its way to success. After observing the vessel, Dib, for a while, it began to see patterns. One such pattern was the obsession with the Zim alien creature that had thrown it out into the street that day it came down from the skies. It had a bone to pick with that Zim. If he thought he could take over the Earth before it, he was sorely mistaken.

…

Zim typed into his computer. He needed to do more research on that little plant thing. Perhaps it had something to do with Dib's evil new plot to postpone Zim's mission.

"Ugh! Miserable humans! Why can't I find anything about this plant?" Zim yelled at the computer. He typed a different word combination and a large sign that read "NO SEARCH RESULTS FOUND" popped onto the screen. "YOU LIE!" Zim screamed, slamming his fists down on the keyboard.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Gir giggled as he shot down to Zim's lab. "I'm RUNNIN'! I'm RUNNIN'!"

"GIR! GET OUT OF HERE!" Zim exclaimed over Gir's squeals of joy.

"YEEEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gir hollered with laughter. Zim pulled on his antenna and screamed to the ceiling of the lab.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" he yelled. "I MUST HAVE THAT PLANT!"

…

"Deal," Dib sighed, sticking his hand out to shake one of the plant's largest frontal leaves.

The plant grinned at him, showing one or two teeth, which had been ground sharp so they resembled more Tyrannosaurus fangs instead of the little dulled corn kernels.

"Go get it, then," the plant smirked.

Dib gulped. Was he really willing to kill other humans? He thought for a second. If it was really going to bring Zim to his knees, he would have to do it. He turned on his heels and marched out the door and down the street. While he was going, he saw Zim and his dog/evil robot, Gir, across the road.

"Zim!" he shouted.

"What?!" Zim yelled back.

"Zim!" Dib called again.

"What?!" Zim returned loudly.

"Zim!"

"What?!"

"Zim!"

"What?!"

"You won't get away with it!" Dib shouted.

"That's very nice of you," Zim called, taking his cupped hand away from his ear.

"No!" Dib cried. "Your plan! I'm going to stop you! I've got a secret weapon!"

"Where is it?" Zim asked.

"A-Around," Dib faltered.

"Can it protect you from this--" Zim trailed off as Gir's head opened.

"SANDWICH?!?!?!" Gir yelled as a huge sandwich sailed through the air and smacked Dib in the face. Dib sailed back into a building. Zim laughed evilly before continuing down the road and Gir giggled before announcing, "Ah had a sandwich in mah head!"

"Ugh," Dib groaned as he picked himself up and dusted his long, black jacket off. "When I get that alien turned in and cut open, it won't be soon enough."


	5. Chapter 5

The plant sat in silence as it waited for its first big meal to be delivered. The vessel was so easily pulled into the scam. It was surprising. When the plant's great ancestor (named Audrey II by its vessel, Seymour Krelborn) tried to convince its vessel to feed it, it took a whole hour (and a whole song break) to get him under the power of the plant.

Suddenly, the door swung open. The plant was about to comment on how quickly its meal was delivered when it realized that the shadow in the doorway wasn't its vessel.

The thing in the doorway had black hair that swirled up into a rather pompadour-ish style hairdo and had bluish-purple eyes. The little dog by the creature's side was green and had a zipper up the front of its stomach, thus intensifying its look of being sewn up.

"Hello there, plant," the shadow in the door snarled coolly.

…

"IT'S MINE! MINE! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Zim rejoiced as Gir dragged the huge potted plant into the lab. "Now, I can find this plant's special abilities and, if necessary, its weaknesses."

"Ugh," the plant grimaced. "Of all the planets in all the universe, the Great Elders had to send me to this one. They didn't tell me that some psycho was already here."

"HOW DARE YOU CALL THE GREAT AND POWERFUL **ZIM** A PSYCHO?" Zim screamed, pointing a menacing finger at the plant's stem. "One more word out of you and I'll get the hedge clippers!"

This seemed to silence the plant for a while. So, Zim turned his attention to the computer. After a few minutes, he had attached a large scanner to the main computer and was ready for action.

"GIR!" Zim called through his base. "GET DOWN HERE! I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE!"

"I DON'T WANNA!" Gir shouted back. He threw a quick temper tantrum before rushing off and rushing back. "Okay!" He saluted and began pushing the plant towards the scanner.

"Once I uncover this plant's powers," Zim pondered to himself, climbing into his computer chair, "I can use it to my own advantage. Who knows? I might be able to conquer this filthy planet before my Tallests even expect me to." He typed an order into the computer.

A bright light covered the plant, blinding both Zim and Gir momentarily. When the light subsided, a barrage of information appeared on the screen. Zim studied the stiff Irkin lettering for a moment before his antennas perked up and he began laughing maniacally.

"Oh great," the plant huffed. "What now?"

…

"Oh _great_!" Dib exclaimed as he checked every nook and cranny in his room for the fifth time. "What now? The plant's gone! How am I supposed to bring Zim to justice if I can't even find my secret weapon?"

A thought rushed across Dib's mind. He halted in his tracks and stared out the window. His mouth hung open in horror.

"_Zim_," he muttered to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

The plant had never been exposed to such a strange feeling. The strange green-skinned creature which had doffed its wig and contact lenses was pouring an oddly colored sand-like powder into the clay pot in which the plant's roots expanded. And with every few grains of the sand, the plant's pod soared up a centimeter and expanded until it nearly filled the room.

Who would have known that the taste of blood was not the only way to grow? It had been this way for millions of years. Though the plant rejoiced in its fast maturing period, it knew one thing. The elders would be disappointed if any new ways took over the old traditions. And so the plant developed a new plan. A plan that involved treachery and betrayal.

…

Zim laughed heartily as he continued to make the plant grow. When the burlap sack containing the formula was emptied, Zim threw it aside and went back to his computer.

"GIR!" he shouted. "Come here!" The little robot was nowhere to be seen. "GIR!" Zim yelled again.

"Can it wait?" Gir's voice responded from the other side of the house. "I'm watching the Scary Monkey Show."

"That monkey…" Zim's voice trailed off as he went to go find his minion. The robot was, indeed, sitting on the couch watching the creepy, big-eyed monkey stare through the screen. Occasionally, Gir's face would light up and he would let out a high-pitched squeal of laugher. "Gir, I need you to watch the plant while I put my latest plan into place." The robot gave no sign that it had heard him. "GIR!"

"Oh yeah," Gir said softly. He screamed and turned off the TV before heading down into the base beneath the surface.

"Now for my most brilliant plot," Zim cried out dramatically as he burst into peals of maniacal laughter.

"Not so fast, Zim!"

"Huh?" Zim turned to look at the door which stood open to reveal…

…

"Dib," Zim said as his pink eyes narrowed.

Dib planted his fists on his waist heroically.

"I've come to get my plant," he growled. "I **WILL** possess the power to vanquish you and your kind forever!"

"You speak a load of lies," Zim retorted. "Only the magnificent power of the Irken race can control such a mighty weapon and I shall use it to destroy the humans. My Tallests will be so amazed by my invader skills they will promote me to the highest of leagues."

"NEVER!" Dib shouted as he pounced at Zim. Zim dodged and ran towards the trashcan elevator that would take him down to the floor where the plant was kept. Dib followed swiftly and the two tussled in the elevator. "GIVE IT UP, ZIM! I'm too powerful for you!"

"Filthy human!" Zim shouted back. The elevator stopped.

"You two think you can control me?" echoed a voice. The two stopped fighting and stared up at the horror that was unfolding before them. "HAH!" The plant's roots burst through the clay pot, pouring dirt all over the floor. The roots twirled around the weapons that Zim had stored and aimed them at the fighters. The plant's pod was open and its teeth were like cutlasses. "Now you're _both_ doomed!"


	7. Chapter 7

Strength pulsed through the plant's roots as it cackled and poised each weapon, ready to blast whichever creature moved first. It felt wonderful to expel the pot from around its roots and be free. Its leaves flourished and unfurled. Venomous saliva filled its mouth. It was suppertime.

…

The plant lunged, using a shot from a laser gun to distract the two. Zim was too smart for it and pulled Dib out of the way. Using his incredible invader senses, he leapt up on the plant's stalk and grabbed on, tearing away at the stalk with his sharp claws.

But the plant shook him off and he flew into the darkness, screaming.

…

Dib was left to face the plant alone.

"What are you doing?" he shouted. "I took care of you! You were supposed to help me defeat Zim!"

"I have only one purpose," the plant laughed evilly. "And that is to spread my seedlings all over the surface of this planet and **EAT** every last creature on its surface until we dominate!"

"NO!" Dib screamed. "I've been helping another alien invader this whole time?"

"That's the gist of it," the plant cackled as it wrapped its roots around Dib and picked him up by his feet. "And I'll start with **YOU**!" Its mouth opened and Dib stared down its throat. He screamed and struggled, but it was no use. Just as he thought everything was lost, the plant screamed in pain.

The pod violently shut and started to wither. Its leaves dropped like petals off a flower. The stalk became flimsy before snapping in half. The pod fell to the ground, twitched, and stopped moving. The roots fell limp and Dib managed to scramble free. He looked around.

Gir, the little robot, was sitting next to the fragmented pot with a spray can of some sort. Dib walked over.

"Hey, can I see that?"

Gir looked at him and handed the can over before running off giggling. Dib looked down at the label.

_**NEW! Weed Killer!**_


	8. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Hey, gang! Comickazi13, here! There. It is done. Wow! I've been working on this story for a long time. Sorry about the wait. I just had a lot of writers' block. And it didn't help that my computer erased the file and I actually forgot about it. Thanks for being patient and I hope it was worth the wait.

Yours truly,

Comickazi13


End file.
